Road Sign Fun

Where are you from, Slow-venia?

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Thank you for coming. We sincerely mean that, we absolutely love you. And we especially love it when you visit our beautiful state and spend lots and lots of money. But just what the hell is up with your driving? Why are you obeying the speed limit and using turn signals? Turn signals? We don’t need no stinkin’ turn signals! This is frickin’ Massachusetts. We just don’t do that here. We are trying to get somewhere. Get on it, or get out of the frickin’ way.

This design is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

Before you check out, check us out!

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If you’re going to die, you might as well do it someplace warm and sunny. Someplace like Florida, where half the population is on the way out to begin with. Where a night out on the town starts at 4:30, and it’s BYOD (Bring Your Own Defibrillator).

This design is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

Just grind it out.

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When it gets hard, you need to use your big tight end and keep grinding away until you score. Just blast it right up the middle. Really open up that hole and pound it through. Then take a shower.

This design  is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

Another planet would be good.

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I don’t care if you’re a Republican, a Democrat, a left-wing subversive, or a right-wing neo-fascist.  If you run for elective office, there’s something basically wrong with you. Get some professional help, and please stop with the automated phone calls and commercials that insult our intelligence. GO AWAY.

This sign is available on posters, t shirts, political yard signs, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

It’s a guy thing. Figuratively.

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At the moment it’s a small club — just one member — but I’m sure this thing will grow larger. In fact, it’s going to be HUGE!

ATTENTION LADY GAGA: I have the lyrics for your new hit single. Okay, first of all, Glee is absolutely huge right now. It just earned a couple of dozen Emmy nominations. So if we can somehow piggy-back on that momentum, it could be your biggest hit ever. And you already wrote a song that referred to a “disco stick.” So add that all up, and we have “Glee Club”:

I want romance
And so do you, judging by that lump in your pants
I want some love
And I don’t really care if I’m below or above

I thought your zipper might snap
But then you spilled that ice cold drink on your lap
Your stuff got shrunken
Oh baby are you still a man or are you a munchkin?

It gets really huge when I give it a rub
I like the way you’re swinging your glee club
It’s got more power than a nuclear sub
I love the way you’re swinging that ga-ga-glee club

I like your pecs
But they are not the part of you I need to have sex
I need your night stick
Even though the sight of it makes me kind of sick

You always say it so smugly
Hey babe let’s go bump uglies
But you should be aware
I need it but it’s really not so pretty down there

It gets really huge when I give it a rub
I like the way you’re swinging your glee club
It’s got more power than a nuclear sub
I love the way you’re swinging that ga-ga-glee club

– “Glee Club,” soon to be performed by Lady Gaga

Okay, Lady Gaga, that’s all I’ve got for now, but I can definitely come up with a couple more verses. I can also help with the musical composition. You’re free to use these lyrics without charge — I’ll just be happy with an album credit. Oh, and your dancers have to wear the t-shirts in the video. It’s been great working with you!

This unique design is available on t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, and other mens shirts at the Road Sign Fun store.

My trunk is also off limits.

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Are you fed up with people who try to touch your junk, junk? Get this trendy design on one of our cool urban clothing items, and your junk will remain un-molested. It’s more than just a shirt. It’s urban clothing. Trendy hip hop fashion. Club wear. Funky but chic. An important part of a good breakfast cool urban outfit.

Tell the world your junk is sacred. Makes a great party shirt, dance t shirt, or club shirt. This unique design is available on t shirts, tanks, spaghetti tanks, cap sleeve t-shirts, juniors clothing, plus size clothing, and more at the Road Sign Fun store.

You’ve got the day off. Go Crazy.

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Ah, Sundays & Holidays. A perfect time to eat, drink, and be nauseous. Scarfing down junk food. Binge drinking. Projectile vomiting. Good times, good times. But for the rest of the week, you need to reign it in.  That’s where this sign comes in handy. You’re welcome.

This unique design is available on college dorm room posters, cool tee shirts, and other merchandise at the Road Sign Fun store. This funny and slightly offensive t shirt even works as a funny pregnancy or maternity t shirt.

Sometimes you just have to be strict.

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Often people will see a No Barfing sign, but for some reason they still think it’s okay to throw up. This sign removes all doubt — there will be no throwing up at any time whatsoever. What a relief!

This unique design is available on college dorm room posters, cool tee shirts, and other merchandise. This funny and slightly offensive t shirt even works as a funny pregnancy or maternity t shirt.

I hope I won’t have to bring this up again.

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Don’t you just hate it when people throw up? Me, too! Let’s face it, throwing up is pretty disgusting. I used to be up to my ankles in vomit until I found this sign. I “threw it up” on my wall and it soon put a stop to all that darned vomiting.

This unique design is available on college dorm room posters, cool tee shirts, and other merchandise at the Road Sign Fun store. This funny and slightly offensive t shirt even works as a funny pregnancy or maternity t shirt.

“Go on and cry in your coffee, but don’t come bitching to me.”

-Billy Joel

Well fine, Billy, but I don’t think you ever had to work an honest day in your life, unless you count that Piano Man thing, which apparently included free drinks. The rest of us should be so lucky…

Buy this road sign! You can get this funny highway sign on t-shirts, posters, and other merchandise at the Road Sign Fun store.

Why waste your breath complaining when you can get this unique design on unmotivational and uninspirational posters. Perfect for any office or workplace that needs an effective demotivator. Also available on t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, the best coffee mugs money can buy, and other funny gifts.