Road Sign Fun

Do you positively radiate sex appeal?

• Buy this road sign!

Are you so hot you should come with a warning sign? Do you emit high doses of sex radiation, with drooling as one of the side effects? Do stars fall from the sky every time you walk by? Then this is the sign for you, Mr. or Ms. Tasty.

This design  is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

I think I can fit you in then.

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Look, spontaneity is nice and everything, but let’s be realistic here. It can be tough to squeeze it in during the week. Sure, you can try to cram it in between other commitments, but who would be satisfied with such a quick, frenzied experience, other than men? Better to wait until you have time for a truly rich experience involving candle-lit bathtubs, bubble bath, scented oils, scattered rose petals, foot massages, reading poetry out loud to one another, painting your toenails, and long conversations.

This design  is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

Another birth control option.

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You’d be surprised how many people see a No Shtupping sign, but still think it’s okay to shtup. Maybe later on tonight? Maybe in 5 minutes? NO. There will be NO SHTUPPING at ANY TIME. Got it?

Who says birth control has to be messy, difficult, or expensive? Just get this road sign on one of our shirts, then follow the simple instructions. What could be easier?

Attention Peoples Republic of China: this unique sign is also available in Chinese. Why resort to unpopular one-child policies, forced abortions, and forced sterilizations? Just get one of these signs for each person of child-bearing age in China, and watch it work its magic! I think I could probably get you a group discount. We could also go with something a little bit stronger like, “No Shtupping Or You Will Be Shot.” Just let me know.

This design  is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

It’s not gonna happen.

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Who says birth control has to be messy, difficult, or expensive? Just get this road sign on one of our shirts, then follow the simple instructions. What could be easier?

This unique sign is perfect for monks, nuns, eunuchs, and busy moms who just don’t have time for shtupping. Also recommended for hormone-crazed teenagers, college students, and the Octomom.

This design  is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

All systems are GO.

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Are you cleared for launch and ready to blast off? To boldly go where no man has gone before? To ride the rocket of desire to the heights of ecstasy? Well, stop talking and engage your thruster already!

This unique sign is truly unforgettable. Wear it on a first date, job interview, or just to liven up the synagogue. Get one for your boyfriend. Your girlfriend. Your fiance. Your rabbi.

This sign also works as a funny engagement, honeymoon, or newly-wed gift, and is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other unique gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

Oy gevalt, it’s a Shtup sign! That’s meshugeh!

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Shtup. The little Yiddish word that means so much is now a funny road sign. Perfect for home, office, or synagogue. A funny gift for both jews and goyim. Works well on a blind date, at parent-teacher meetings, or to meet your future in-laws for the first time — anywhere you need to make a good first impression.

The Shtup sign also works as a funny engagement, honeymoon, or newly-wed gift. Get one for your boyfriend, girlfriend, or rabbi. This unique design is available on posters, t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, mousepads, and other funny gifts at the Road Sign Fun store.

It’s a guy thing. Figuratively.

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At the moment it’s a small club — just one member — but I’m sure this thing will grow larger. In fact, it’s going to be HUGE!

ATTENTION LADY GAGA: I have the lyrics for your new hit single. Okay, first of all, Glee is absolutely huge right now. It just earned a couple of dozen Emmy nominations. So if we can somehow piggy-back on that momentum, it could be your biggest hit ever. And you already wrote a song that referred to a “disco stick.” So add that all up, and we have “Glee Club”:

I want romance
And so do you, judging by that lump in your pants
I want some love
And I don’t really care if I’m below or above

I thought your zipper might snap
But then you spilled that ice cold drink on your lap
Your stuff got shrunken
Oh baby are you still a man or are you a munchkin?

It gets really huge when I give it a rub
I like the way you’re swinging your glee club
It’s got more power than a nuclear sub
I love the way you’re swinging that ga-ga-glee club

I like your pecs
But they are not the part of you I need to have sex
I need your night stick
Even though the sight of it makes me kind of sick

You always say it so smugly
Hey babe let’s go bump uglies
But you should be aware
I need it but it’s really not so pretty down there

It gets really huge when I give it a rub
I like the way you’re swinging your glee club
It’s got more power than a nuclear sub
I love the way you’re swinging that ga-ga-glee club

– “Glee Club,” soon to be performed by Lady Gaga

Okay, Lady Gaga, that’s all I’ve got for now, but I can definitely come up with a couple more verses. I can also help with the musical composition. You’re free to use these lyrics without charge — I’ll just be happy with an album credit. Oh, and your dancers have to wear the t-shirts in the video. It’s been great working with you!

This unique design is available on t shirts, sweatshirts, long sleeve t shirts, and other mens shirts at the Road Sign Fun store.

A homage to David Spade? Bitter sarcasm? Or a sincere plea for oneness and love? Yes, yes, and yes! This versatile design offers many possible interpretations. But we’re leaning toward sarcasm.

Buy this road sign! You can get this funny highway sign on t-shirts, posters, and other merchandise at the Road Sign Fun store.